Has nothing changed?

Free to read to all today because this is important.

‘Crack’ The unexpected and very loud sound I heard coming from my teeth this week as I lay in 27 degree sunshine.

I was clenching my jaw so tightly that my teeth were aching and cracking. I noticed my shoulders were up round my ears and my entire body was filled with tension.

Not what you’d expect when you escape to the sun for a few days of chill.

The reason This Book by Laura Bates. Fix the System Not The Women, despite making me want to scream, cry and punch everything in sight it really is a must read for everyone in modern society. It’s terrifying in parts, but sadly had me nodding my head along to so many of the pages.

Not least the one where a teacher told a girl the reason a boy at school wouldn’t leave her alone was because ‘he liked her’. After a strikingly similar incident involving my daughter and a teacher last year I wanted to jump up screaming YES and hang my head in frustration all at the same time.

The same happened to me countless times when I was younger and I cannot believe things have not gotten better in 30 years.

The book further discusses the impact of the rampant misogyny in the systems we live in; Education, the police, the criminal justice system. Yep I had many a delightful experience in my forensic career, not least a very awkward exchange with a white male barrister asking me when my husband last bought me diamonds. Like, what the actual fuck mate! Or my boss asking me if i’d be capable of doing my job with a young family.

Many of us experience it even in our own homes. In heterosexual relationships 63% of women still do the bulk of the household tasks compared to 22% of men despite the fact that many of us also go out to work and bring money into the household pot.

Butting up against this regularly can feel exhausting and like we are fighting a losing battle, but if we want to get to true equity in our homes, workplaces, society then we must keep going.

But how can we do this?

The first thing I suggest is to read the book.

And then tell everyone you know about it and get them to read it too, yes including the menfolk in your lives.

Because we need them as allies if we are really going to make this change.

Speak up and start discussions when you hear misogyny in action (if safe to do so).

But I know all this takes energy which you probably don’t have excess of!

So I have something that will help.

5 minutes in your garden each day will recharge you, clear your mind and allow you to take your frustrations out on the soil and weeds.

If you’re just starting out and you want someone to hold your hand as you transform your garden then click here to see how I can help.

And if you’re not ready to go the whole hog and create your garden paradise just yet, then try out some of my Mindful Gardening activities by upgrading to paid. If you try it and decide it’s not for you, you can cancel anytime.