I felt my heart sink
Musings on disappointment and how your garden can help you overcome those feelings.
….as I heard the voice come over the speaker; ‘I’m really sorry Kendall but due to David Cameron’s urgent statement were not going to have time for your segment today’. ‘No problem’ I replied brightly to the producer as I left the virtual green room and closed my browser ready to head back downstairs into the pre school-run chaos. ‘Bugger, I’d put my make up on and everything’ I thought to myself.
I had been booked to speak on GB news to discuss the effect of the cost of living on our family. From turning our heating down to save money on gas which resulted in damp and mould growing in our home, the 37% increase in our food bill in a year, to the cost and availability of childcare in our area. We’ve just been told the school want to close the pre-school class as it isn’t ‘financially viable’ to keep it open with the inadequate funding the government is providing. So I was hoping to get a mention about that on there too.
Years ago that sinking feeling would have spiralled me into to at least an hour of feeling bad about myself, even though I have literally zero control over our government choosing that morning to bomb another country. That’s a whole other post in itself.
How did I manage to catch myself before I went on that disappointment sparked, self-shaming rampage?
My mind is quieter than it has been in years, despite having more to think about and remember now than ever before.
I have a few ways I maintain this quiet mind:
Twice weekly swimming- something about the back and forth nature really helps to soothe my brain.
Eating food that fuels my brain and body- lots of vegetables, beans, pulses to make sure my digestion is working effectively to clear all the waste from my system.
Reducing my refined sugar intake- I was heavily reliant on sugar for energy to get me through the day- especially when the kids were tiny (although Elora still doesn’t sleep through the night now). Sugar is one of the most toxic things for my ADHD brain and I can tell when i’ve been overindulging on the sweet stuff.
Gardening- i’d love to say daily, but right now my life doesn’t allow for that. I aim for 3 sessions a week of between 20 and 60 minutes. There are some weeks I get my 3 sessions in and there are some weeks I don’t, but I can start to feel my mind whirring and going wild when I don’t get time out there.
In addition to keeping my brain quiet, time in my garden; sowing seeds, weeding, pruning has enabled me to grow my self-confidence and resilience. So when challenging or disappointing situations happen I don’t default to blaming myself anymore.
If you’d like to give it a try this year with my support i’d love to invite you to come and try my weekly mindful gardening activities. You can start from as little as 5 minutes a day for £5 a month, or if you really want to make a commitment to looking after yourself, your garden and your mental wellbeing this year, why not join us for a whole year for just £50.
As I said to someone earlier this week, we have to be the change we seek and give ourselves permission to do that, because you better believe no one else is giving you permission.