Things to do this week in your garden- February Week 4

Mindful Gardening and Floristry activities to calm your mind and soothe your soul

How on earth has a whole year passed?

A year ago today my lovely Dad passed away after a long, heartbreaking battle with pulmonary fibrosis.

Seeing such a vibrant, strong man fade a little bit more each day over the previous 5 years had been gut wrenching. So whilst his passing almost felt like a relief that he didn’t have to struggle anymore I felt his loss like a physical piece of me had been torn away.

My head was foggy, I couldn’t concentrate, I had no inclination to do the things I usually love to do.

It felt distressingly similar to my experience with burn out nearly 10 years previously.

Much like I did when I was in burn out, once I felt strong enough to, I knew I needed to get out into the garden.

I knew I needed a space to process the grief that was surging through my body in waves.

To focus my mind on something other than the near constant worry about my mum.

Slowly, with the support of my plants I was able to process some of the unexpected feelings I was having around him dying. I’d naively thought that because he’d been ill for a long time I’d done all my grieving before he actually died. How wrong I was.

I’m still grieving now (if the sogginess of my keyboard right now is anything to go by) and probably will be for the rest of my life. Grieving all the missed moments, hearing his laugh and sharing our favourite meal together.

But I know that each time I miss him or feel sad about the fact he’s not here anymore, I can head out into my garden and sit among the brightly coloured geraniums that were his favourite. Or spend some time sowing seeds or potting on plants in the new greenhouse that I bought with some money he left me, and feel connected to him.

I’m sharing a way you can create a space for someone you’d love to remember in your garden, in this weeks activities. As well as a way to help big and challenging emotions move through your body so they don’t get stuck and snarl your whole week up.

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