Things to do this week in your garden- 24th March 2024
Mindful Gardening and Floristry activities to calm your mind and soothe your soul
Mind racing, staring at the ceiling in the hope that it will bore my brain into submission. 2 hours later, mind still whirring and still staring at that same patch of ceiling, the baby cries and I go to her, both of our cheeks wet with tears, but for different reasons.
I felt heartbroken, how could this group of women who’d seen me through some of the biggest moments of my life change seemingly overnight.
I have always struggled with female friendships, masking to fit in, until I just can’t anymore and end up saying something that someone doesn’t like or agree with. And it wasn’t until getting my ADHD diagnosis last year that I promised myself, no more masking.
I’m able to show much more of who I am to people now, but it feels so vulnerable and raw and I constantly worry i’ve said or done the wrong thing or shown too much of myself. Then when I have exchanges like the one I had last night on a group WhatsApp chat (aren’t they just the pits?!) I feel physically sick at the perceived rejection and like I just wanted to crawl into a ball with my mask firmly back on.
Because that’s what it was, perceived. After spending most of the night awake worrying, I messaged one of the women this morning and said that I was struggling to understand the nuance in the chat but it was making me feel unwelcome, could she explain what was going on?
Turns out there was nuance but it wasn’t aimed at me. Not sure that’s any better really. Why can’t people just say what they mean? Ah, we are so messy and complicated aren’t we?
Sometimes I am happier just hanging out with my plants. Where I can quiet my mind and process the difficult emotions I feel on a near daily basis.
If you’d also like to cultivate a relationship with your garden, so that you can take regular time for you, because you’re fed up of giving ALL of you to others constantly. If you’re intrigued by the garden but you’re telling yourself you can’t do it, then let me be your guide.
And there’s no better place to start than with 5 minutes and this week’s mindful gardening activities.