10 things people did as standard before the internet came along

May 18, 2025

Hi darling, I’m Kendall, a horticultural therapist. Here on my Substack, I share tips on how to use your garden to grow your personal power in a world that tries to keep women stuck, exhausted & burnt out. Come grab your trowel and join the rebellion, we’ve got a patriarchy to dismantle.

www.adventureswithflowers.com

Welcome to the Seed, the place where you’ll learn to resource yourself in the garden using 5 minute mindful gardening activities so that you can unlock more joy in your life.

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Something has been troubling me, weighing heavy on my mind. I see it everywhere I go distracted, numb humans going about their daily lives and wondering why the hell they feel miserable, exhausted and on the edge of burnout.

As if the title of this article didn’t give you a clue, the reason? It’s the internet.

A huge advance in technology for sure, that has absolutely changed the way we communicate and live our lives, but has it actually been for the better?

I’m going to explore a few things here that I feel are missing in our world since the internet got it’s sticky fingers so deeply ingrained in our day to day. And suggest some ways in which you can start to rediscover them again if you’re also fed up of feeling utterly drained.

1. Got a full night’s sleep

I’m going in big. If I have another conversation with a friend about how disturbed their sleep is I’m going to scream. Not because it’s their fault of course but because it’s constant. And i’m not talking about because of small kids or hormones, but these of course have a role to play.

But because people are still scrolling on their phones, watching YouTube and sending their nervous systems into the stratosphere right before flicking the light off and expecting their mind to quiet and their body to relax. Na ah- ain’t gonna happen sister.

And even if you do manage to fall asleep quickly because you’re so dog tired, you’re awake again at 3am mind racing with all the things you have on that never ending to do list.

A much better pre-sleep routine is to put the phone away- preferably out of the bedroom and grab a pen and paper (you still remember what ones of those is right?) and write down all the things that are buzzing around in your head.

Then take your writing implement and number them in order of importance. Choose 3 to give to your partner if you have one, and choose 3 to sack off entirely. PSA, you do not need to make a showstopper Prue Leith would be proud of for the PTA bake sale.

2. Talked to their loved ones

Now we just sit next to each other and stare at the latest Netflix series. Zero emotional intimacy, zero feeling of our feelings and we wonder why we’re as tightly wound as a spring. Now i’m not suggesting we need to offload constantly to our loved ones, although it sure would be nice to have a place to muse about life, the world and our feelings around it and at the same time deepen our connection with our loved ones.

The problem is as children of the 80’s and 90’s we weren’t allowed to feel our feelings, let alone talk to anyone about them. So it feels dangerous to tell someone we care about how we are feeling. Incase they reject us, try to fix us or tell us that ‘you’ll be fine’.

I’ve found a really good way to preempt this from happening. If i’ve worked some big feelings out in my journal (more on this later) and I want to share it with a loved one I say to them:

‘I’ve got something I want to share with you but I don’t need you to do anything other than listen, no fixing or advice required’.

Stating this up front enables me to share my thoughts without feeling fearful of the brush off or the solutions being laid out before me like a checklist.

This doesn’t always have to be face to face you know. Yes, yes yes we have the wonders of FaceTime, thanks to the internet of course. But it can feel easier to talk about the big things when we haven’t got some blurry image moving around on the other side of the screen, with their eyes boring directly into our souls.

There’s this thing called a phone. Retro I know? That thing you sat by from about 5.55pm as a teen, waiting for the clock to strike 6 so you could call your bestie for free and spend the entire evening dissecting your day. As if you hadn’t already lived through it together. Oh those simpler times hey.

The only people I know who still have a landline are my in laws, largely in part to the lack of mobile signal where they live and their complete and utter refusal to work out how to use Facetime or WhatsApp.

But you can still create the gorgeous intimacy of a one on one phone call from your youth with your mobile. Just do an audio call.

3. Grew their own food and flowers

Ha ha- you knew I’d get this in here somehow didn’t you? Yes this is of course my entire reason for being. To get you in your garden connecting with Nature every day as a respite from this crazy internet fuelled world, so that you can start to slow down and begin to grow your power amongst your plants.

Historically people had no choice but to grow their own food, but now thanks to innovation in transport and the internet we can sit on our sofas and order all our food to be delivered to our door. No shade by the way, my Asda delivery driver is one of my most frequent visitors. Says A LOT about my social life!

If you’ve been here a while you’ll know I don’t really grow veg in my garden, preferring to give the space over to the blousy blooms that lift my heart and soothe my soul. These too can be ordered on the internet for next day delivery to your door. But there is nothing like snipping your own bunch of flowers for your desk or kitchen table that started out life as a tiny seed in the palm of your hand.

Freshly picked homegrown flowers from my garden

It gets to be your choice of course what you grow in your garden, but I urge you without delay, to choose the slow route rather than Mr Bezos’ ‘how quickly can I get you that dopamine hit’ route, otherwise known as next day delivery. Instead of one dopamine hit, you get to experience daily dopamine hits when you grow a garden.

Especially if you come and learn to garden mindfully with us in the Seed membership.

4. Read a book

Now I hope i’m preaching to the converted given where i’m publishing this. But this is of course an online platform and with the introduction of live videos and notes (both of which I love by the way as they allow me to connect more deeply with your wonderful soul) our nervous systems can easily be overstimulated.

My tops tips to prevent this:

Create special Substack reading time (I like a Sunday morning with a coffee, in my dressing gown while the kids wreak havoc around me).
Save articles that tickle your fancy (click the 3 dots top right and choose save) and curate yourself your own digital magazine to dive into at your special allotted reading time. Like your own version of the Sunday papers
Read articles on a tablet so it feels more like a book. This one was shared with me by the fabulous
Claire Venus ✨
She’s your woman if you want to write, read and connect on Substack without sending your nervous system into overdrive.
Another great tip from Claire is to ‘mute’ any notes that trigger you and ‘like’ any that feel good in your body. And ‘ta da’, a curated notes feed.
Lastly read a fucking book! I spend way too much money on books, but I want to support authors that transport me off to faraway lands, challenge my thinking and help me grow. I also order piles and piles of books from my local library to save a bit of ££.

Emma Gannon

also has a rather delightful Substack which soothes my frazzled nerves when I dive into it each Sunday morning.

5. Daydreamed

You remember when you used to get the bus to school and there were days when you mucked about with your mates. And then there were the days when you’d just stare out of the window and let your mind wander.

Usually at the end of the day for me because I was exhausted from having peopled all day.

The space and freedom that daydream time gave me. It allowed me to think about what might be possible for me, envisage my life as a world famous forensic scientist (awks, well that didn’t work out did it? Thanks burnout), ponder whether I could make it as a musical theatre actress and imagine myself adventuring around the world marvelling at the flora and fauna I observed along the way.

Now, instead of daydreaming we’re constantly cramming more and more information into our already very overloaded brains, with podcasts and videos galore, and then wondering why we feel stressed.

Our poor minds are craving that space, that nothingness. But I know as type A millennial woman the thought of doing nothing strikes the fear of God into us.

6. Noticed life going on around them

This type A millennial fear is why this activity borrowed from the pre-internet days is so good. Something that we used to do as standard before Instagram sapped every last drop of our attention.

Find yourself wherever you’re at, on a bus, at home, on a walk, put your phone away and on airplane mode and just notice.

Notice what is going on around you, the colours of the leaves on the trees, the birds pecking at your bird feeder, the people walking towards you, you could even proffer a smile if you’re feeling bold.

Observe how you feel after 10 minutes of noticing. Does your mind feel calmer? Less racing? How does your body feel? Calmer? Flooded with warmth?

See if you can notice plants growing up through the cracks in pavements or in walls. It always reminds me how strong I am when I see something else created by Mother Nature flourishing in such an un-hospitable environment.

7. Moved their bodies to feel good

Not to shrink themselves into something the internet and society deems socially acceptable.

When you move your body to feel stronger or to get that hit of endorphins, rather than moving it as some kind of punishment for eating something sweet or because you feel obligated to if you’re going to fit into that dress for cousin Sara’s wedding, it feels better.

Years ago people had no choice to move their bodies if they wanted to get anywhere. But thanks to the internet and being able to have everything brought to our doorsteps, we have become scarily sedentary. So when you can get up from the desk and move your body to feel good?

Some morning pilates on the kitchen floor while the kids eat their breakfast?

A walk in the sunshine at lunchtime?

20 minutes in the garden digging up some weeds after work or once the kids are in bed?

Set an alarm with the title of your chosen activity ‘Go for a walk’ or ‘Get in the garden’ for the time you want to do it, so that you don’t get so into work that you forget to do it.

8. Connected with their intuition

We are so connected online that were chronically disconnected from our inner selves. Preferring to scroll to distract ourselves from our feelings and dulling our innate wisdom.

At my lowest point, during my burnout in 2014 this disconnection meant I couldn’t even decide what to eat for dinner. Let alone allow my intuition to tell me what next step I should take in my life. I’d crammed my intuition so deep down inside me because honestly it rejected most of what the world at large and those around me told me I should want. And at that point I so desperately wanted to be included in the cool gang (whatever that is) that I abandoned my intuition in favour of being a sheep and following the crowd.

Every time I tried to listen to my intuition I got rejected, told I was naive or too sensitive and so I decided it was safer to shut her up in a tiny box and try and pretend she didn’t exist. This ignoring of my very self was what led to my burnout, trying to be someone i’m not and doing things that I didn’t want to do.

Once I began to gently lift the flap on the box and started to allow my intuition to speak up, I started to make decisions more aligned with my values and what I want in life. And guess what, i’m infinitely happier and way less stressed for doing so.

I don’t believe it’s an exaggeration to say that listening to your intuition is life saving.

9. Wrote their hearts out

Using a pen and paper, not a keyboard. Writing letters to loved ones far away (think Jo March and her sisters), writing a daily diary to process their feelings around what they’d experienced that day, just writing without censoring because no one else or only a very specific person was going to read it.

Nowadays when potentially thousands of people could read your writing online, it’s hard not to censor your thoughts for fear of judgement, trolling or being cancelled. You feel a pressure to get it just right otherwise someone might say you’re a shit writer and when you’re as sensitive a soul as I am that becomes ‘you’re a shit person’.

But what about just writing for the joy of it, for the pressure it takes off you when you get some of the swirling thoughts out of your head and onto the page.

I started journalling last year and it’s changed my life- I wrote about it here. I never re-read what I write because firstly it’s so messy I cant make out all the words and secondly I don’t need to put the words back into my brain when i’ve just written them out. It feels freeing and like a weight is lifted. I’d love for you to give it a try.

10. Had a quiet mind

All of these activities that were largely part of everyday life before the internet gave us unfettered access to every morsel of information we could ever want. And our minds were quieter for it.

So many women I speak to tell me they’re overloaded, their minds constantly swirling with things to remember and tasks to do and these activities are the things I suggest they try. Just one at a time.

Which one are you going to try? Let me know below.